


way down we go

by Schriftstellerexcerpts



Series: tangled up in you [3]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 06:58:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21295409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schriftstellerexcerpts/pseuds/Schriftstellerexcerpts
Summary: “He kissed me goodbye, too,” Waverly says, a blush on her cheeks.Nicole breaks then. “Did you just come over here to brag about your new boyfriend?” She asks, a fire in her voice.“Well, no,” Waverly says. “I came here to talk to you.”“Could’a fooled me,” Nicole mutters. “Listen, don’t come in my room talking about that weasel, okay? Keep it to yourself.”
Relationships: Waverly Earp & Nicole Haught, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught, Wynonna Earp & Doc Holliday, Wynonna Earp/Doc Holliday
Series: tangled up in you [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1524716
Comments: 8
Kudos: 128





	way down we go

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, all. Here's another part to this series. In this one, Nicole deals with heartbreak in many forms and doesn't deal with it well. Waverly goes on a date with Champ. Wynonna tries to help Nicole. William Haught, Nicole's dad, has to deal with heartbreak as well. Buckle up. This one's a rollercoaster. 
> 
> You can follow me on Instagram and Twitter @sky_counts. 
> 
> All feedback is welcome. 
> 
> Thank you for reading. It truly means a lot to me (: 
> 
> Okay, let's roll.

_Dear William and Nicole, my two greatest loves,_

_ I won’t tell you where I’ve gone. Just know that I am safe. I’m sorry that it had to go down this way. Purgatory just wasn’t the place for me anymore. William, thank you for loving me unconditionally. I know we fell into a dark place recently but I know that one day we will make it out of it. Nicole, my sweet, beautiful girl, I love you more than the stars and the moon in the sky. You’re going to kickass in college and become a great lawyer one day. Don’t blame yourself for my decision. I don’t want you to become cold. Love those Earp girls with everything in you, okay? Don’t push them away. You’re going to need them. Your dad is going to need you. Please, don’t call or text. I know that this is a lot to take in, but I hope you understand. I love you both._

_ All my love,_

_ Candice Haught_

Nicole reads the note over and over again as she stands in the middle of the kitchen. Her dad is sitting down at the table, his head in his hands. Nicole furrows her eyebrows and studies the note again, as if there’s a secret message within it.

“Dad,” Nicole says, her voice hoarse, “is this…is this some sort of prank?”

William doesn’t look up. He just shakes his head.

Tears build up in Nicole’s eyes. “She…she left?” She asks.

Her dad nods.

Nicole reads the note again. “Did you know that she was going to leave?” She asks her dad. “Were you guys fighting or something? Why did she say that you were in a dark place?”

William shrugs.

“Dammit, dad!” Nicole screams, dropping the note onto the floor. “Can’t you just fucking say something?”

William looks up and tears stream down his face. “I’m sorry,” is all he says.

Nicole’s chin quivers. “Why would she leave us?” She asks. “Why would she leave me?”

William wipes the tears off of his face. “I don’t know, kid,” he says.

_“‘Cause all the ones I hoped would stay are all the ones that fade away,”_ Phora sings somewhere off in the distance.

Nicole’s frozen in place, like if she moves a in the slightest, it’ll make this whole thing true.

“It’s not true,” Waverly had said on the last day of Nicole’s Sophomore year in high school, just mere weeks ago. “I’m not dating Champ Hardy, Nicole.”

Nicole blinks the memory away. _Lies_, she thinks. _Everyone is always lying to me. _She clenches her fists. “Mom doesn’t love me,” she says so softly that her dad almost doesn’t hear her.

“She does love you, Nicole,” William tries to assure her, despite the pain he’s in right now.

“No, she doesn’t,” Nicole says. “You don’t run out on the people you love and you sure as hell don’t lie to them.”

“I didn’t lie to you, Nicole,” Waverly had said just last week. “We went to the pool together. That doesn’t mean that we’re dating.”

“I saw you kiss him,” Nicole had argued.

“It was just a peck on the lips,” Waverly had said.

Nicole can’t take it anymore. She grabs her keys and heads for the door.

“Where are you going?” William asks her.

“I need some air,” Nicole says before she rushes out to her car and squeals off.

She turns the volume all the way up to “If You’re Not the One for Me Who Is” by Keshi.

_“Softly dreaming of the days. Love me, tell me that you’ll stay.”_

Nicole doesn’t press on the brakes until she pulls up to Gus’s house. She wipes the tears off of her face and looks at herself in the mirror to make sure that it. doesn’t look like she’s been crying. She sniffles before she shuts off the ignition and gets out of her car.

She walks up to the door and knocks, patiently waiting for someone to answer. She plasters on a fake smile when Gus answers the door.

“Good morning, Nicole,” Gus says, a smile on her face.

“Hey, Gus,” Nicole offers, stepping into the house when Gus steps to the side.

“It’s good to see you,” Gus says. “You haven’t been around much this summer.”

Nicole shoves her hands into the front pockets of her jeans. “Yeah, I’ve been busy helping my dad,” she lies. _I can’t stand to see Waverly with Champ Hardy._ “Is Wynonna here?”

Gus nods. “Upstairs,” she says. “She was on the phone with that Holliday boy just a few minutes ago.”

Nicole turns to walk up the stairs, but she stops when Gus starts to talk again.

“Waverly’s in her room,” Gus tells her.

_I don’t want to see Waverly. It’s too much too soon._ “Okay,” Nicole says before she disappears up the stairs.

“One step at a time,” Nicole’s mom had said back when Nicole was in fifth grade. “The stairs aren’t going anywhere. You’re going to roll your ankle if you keep skipping steps. If you have a rolled ankle, you won’t be able to play basketball this weekend.”

Nicole swallows the lump in her throat and makes her way to Wynonna’s room.

Wynonna’s laying on her bed, her phone held over her face. “Dolls won’t text me back,” she says, not looking away from her phone.

“Huh?” Nicole questions.

“Dolls,” Wynonna says, dropping her phone onto her bed and turning to face Nicole. “He won’t text me back.”

“Oh,” is all Nicole says. _My mom left my dad and me and I’m so lost. And Waverly’s with Champ now so what am I supposed to do?_ She almost says, but she holds back from doing so.

Wynonna furrows her eyebrows. “What’s wrong?” She asks.

Nicole shakes her head. “Nothing,” she says.

Wynonna stares at her for a beat too long, but doesn’t push further. “Waverly’s in her room,” she offers.

That’s almost enough to make Nicole scream. _I’m not here to see Waverly._ “I came here to see you,” she tells Wynonna.

“I know,” Wynonna says, as if it’s obvious. “You and Waverly haven’t been up each other’s asses recently. What’s going on with that?”

Nicole shrugs. “She’s with Champ now,” she says.

Wynonna scowls. “Don’t remind me,” she says.

Nicole pushes her hair out of her face and sighs. “Do you wanna go shoot some hoops or something?” She asks.

Wynonna checks her phone for any text messages from Dolls. “Sure,” she says. “One on One?” She asks and Nicole nods. “Loser has to buy lunch at Shorty’s.”

“You’re on,” Nicole says before the two of them walk down the hallway towards the stairs. At the same time, Waverly comes out of her room and Nicole stops in her tracks.

Waverly looks Nicole up and down and frowns. She doesn’t have a belt on and her shirt is only halfway tucked into her jeans.

Nicole feels the walls closing in on her.

Wynonna furrows her eyebrows.

_“Love is hell,”_ Phora sings.

“Hey,” Waverly offers.

Nicole rubs the back of her neck. “Hey,” she says slowly.

“C’mon, Nicole,” Wynonna says.

Nicole doesn’t look away from Waverly.

“I’m gonna go take a shower,” Waverly says. “Champ’s taking me to lunch.”

“C’mon, Haught,” Wynonna says more urgently.

Nicole’s eyes fill with tears and she almost reaches out for Waverly, but her hands are glued to her sides. She blinks the tears away and follows Wynonna down the stairs. She doesn’t look back.

“Check it,” Wynonna says, bouncing the ball to Nicole.

Nicole bounces the ball back to Wynonna.

Wynonna charges towards the basketball hoop and side checks Nicole on her way. Nicole falls down and Wynonna stops.

“What the hell, Haught?” Wynonna asks, raising her eyebrows. “You’re, like, the best at basketball. I barely even touched you.”

Nicole gets up and dusts off her clothes. She looks up at the house and sees the curtain on the bathroom window slightly open. Waverly looks right at her.

_“And I play it out in my mind. I see your face like you’re mine. Just hope you felt that and cry,” _Cub Sport sings. _“And I play it out in my mind. I see your face like you’re mine.”_

“Nicole,” Wynonna says.

“Nicole,” Waverly had said when Nicole walked away from her last week.

“Nicole,” her mom had said just the other day when dinner was ready.

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Nicole says before she runs over to the long patch of grass on the other side of the cement. It reminds her that she needs to mow for Gus. She’s thinking about making a new playlist for mowing the grass when she throws up everything she’s feeling.

“Holy shit,” Wynonna says.

Nicole manages to look back up at the bathroom window, but Waverly isn’t there anymore.

She pukes again.

“Nicole, are you okay?” Wynonna asks.

“Nicole, are you okay?” Waverly had asked on the last day of school.

“Nicole, are you okay?” Her mom had asked her when Nicole stormed into the house and slammed the door behind her.

Nicole pukes again.

“Are you hungover or something?” Wynonna asks.

_No, Wynonna, I’m fucking heartbroken._ “I’m fine,” Nicole says before she spits.

“Do you need some medicine or something?” Wynonna asks.

“I said I’m fine, Wynonna,” Nicole says coldly.

_“I don’t want you to become cold,”_ her mom had written.

“You’re obviously not,” Wynonna says. “Seriously, Nicole, what the hell is going on?”

Nicole grabs the basketball out of Wynonna’s hands. “C’mon, let’s play,” she says.

“Is this about Waverly or something?” Wynonna asks.

“Not everything is about Waverly,” Nicole says.

“Then what’s wrong?” Wynonna asks.

_“Don’t push them away,”_ her mom had said.

“Please don’t push me away,” Wynonna says.

Nicole chucks the basketball at the shed and shoves Wynonna. “What the fuck is so wrong with me, huh?” She asks, shoving Wynonna again.

Wynonna grabs onto Nicole’s t-shirt to steady herself.

“What’s so fucking wrong with me, Wynonna?” Nicole asks, her teeth clenched.

“Nothing,” Wynonna says. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Nicole.”

“Then why…” Nicole stops. _Then why is Waverly with Champ? Then why did my mom leave me?_ She pushes away from Wynonna and huffs. “I can’t stay here,” she says. “I have to go.”

“Nicole,” Wynonna tries.

Nicole backs away from Wynonna. _I can’t stay here while Waverly goes on a date with Champ._

“Nicole, just stay,” Wynonna says. “We can talk about whatever’s going on.”

_Why should I stay when my own mother didn’t?_ “I have to go,” Nicole says before she practically sprints to her car and gets inside of it. She doesn’t even start it. She just sits in the driver’s seat in silence for a few moments before she punches the steering wheel over and over again.

It’s enough to make her cry. She rests her head on the steering wheel and allows herself to cry until she hears the passenger side door open and feels the car rock slightly as someone sits down int he passenger seat.

For a few moments, all that can be heard is the sound of Nicole’s sobs.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on?” Wynonna asks, her voice cracking. She’s never been good at keeping her emotions in tact when it comes to Nicole.

Nicole leans back in her seat and wipes her eyes. She takes a deep breath in, then lets it out. “My mom left,” she says.

Wynonna doesn’t say anything for a couple of minutes and Nicole thinks that maybe Wynonna didn’t hear her.

“She what?” Wynonna asks.

Nicole looks out of the window. “She left,” she says. “There’s not a single trace of her. All she left was a note.”

“Why would she leave?” Wynonna asks.

Nicole shrugs. “Apparently her and my dad were in a dark place or something,” she tells Wynonna. “She didn’t even say where she went.”

“Did you try calling her?” Wynonna asks.

Nicole shakes her head. “She specifically asked us not to call or text her,” she says.

Wynonna sighs and thumbs at the cassette tape setting in the cup holder. It’s a Green Day one. “Do you want me to tell Waverly?” She asks. “She’ll blow off Champ, then the three of us could drive around and maybe go grab some food at Shorty’s.”

Nicole shakes her head. “_We_ can do that,” she says, gesturing between her and Wynonna. “Not Waverly, though. I don’t want to be the reason she doesn’t go on her date.”

“She’ll understand,” Wynonna says.

“I don’t want her to understand,” Nicole says, a hint of finalization in her voice.

“Okay, seriously, what’s going on between you and Waverly?” Wynonna asks, her eyebrows raised.

Nicole shrugs. “Nothing,” she says. _That’s the problem. There’s nothing going on between the two of us._

“Okay, well, she’s your best friend and I think that she should know-“

“She’s not my best friend,” Nicole says, cutting Wynonna off. “_You’re_ my best friend.”

Wynonna laughs with no real humor. “Waverly’s been there for you a lot more times than I have,” she says.

“I realize that,” Nicole says. “I just don’t want to ruin her date, okay?”

“She’s going out with Champ Hardy,” Wynonna reminds Nicole. “You think Champ Hardy is _the worst_.”

Nicole shrugs. “Waverly seems to like him,” she says.

“Yeah, well, she shouldn’t,” Wynonna says.

“We can’t control who she goes out with,” Nicole points out.

“I know,” Wynonna says. “I just wish that she would pick anyone else in this blister of a town. Like maybe that Hayes kid or even Perry Crofte.”

“I’m pretty sure that Perry has a thing for Chrissy Nedley,” Nicole says over the top of Wynonna.

“Or _you_,” Wynonna says.

Nicole freezes. “Me?” She questions.

Wynonna nods. “I think you’d treat her better than anyone here ever could,” she says.

_I could. I know I could._ “She deserves to be happy,” Nicole says.

Before Wynonna can say anything, Waverly walks out of the house.

“Waverly!” Wynonna calls, motioning for Waverly to come over to them. “You’re gonna have to blow Champ off.”

Nicole sighs. “Wynonna,” she warns.

“What? Why?” Waverly asks, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Nicole opens the door and gets out of her car. “Don’t listen to her, Waves. Go on your date,” she says.

Wynonna gets out of the car as well. “No,” she says. “No, Waverly, you need to stay here.”

“She doesn’t _need_ to do anything,” Nicole argues.

“What’re you guys talking about?” Waverly asks, crossing her arms over her chest. “Look, if you don’t want me to go out with Champ, then I don’t know what to tell you. I’m going out with hi-“

“Nicole’s mom left,” Wynonna says, interrupting Waverly.

Nicole cringes.

Waverly looks at Nicole. “Your mom left?” She asks.

Nicole glares at Wynonna. “I…” she trails off, tears burning in her eyes. “I have to go.” She starts to walk towards the road.

“Nicole,” Waverly calls after her.

“What about your car?” Wynonna asks.

Nicole turns around and throws the keys at Wynonna. “Keep it,” she says before she turns back around and walks towards her house.

The walk is lonely, but it gives Nicole some time to think. She feels the vibration of her phone in her pocket and she doesn’t even have to look to know that it’s Wynonna and Waverly. Five miles doesn’t seem like a whole lot until the temperature is nearing one-hundred degrees and you’re in jeans and a flannel. Nicole takes off her flannel and lays it over her shoulder, the sun hitting her bare shoulders and stomach.

“Why’d you have to leave, ma?” Nicole shouts at no one in particular. Truth is, the streets of Purgatory are completely bare as she walks down them. “Why’d you have to leave, huh?” She wipes the tears off of her cheeks. “Why’d you have to go and mess everything up?”

_“Oh, you let your feet run wild,” _KALEO sings from somewhere in the lonely streets. _“Time has come as we all go down. Yeah, but for the fall oh, my. Do you dare to look him right in the eyes?”_

A car backfires across the way and Nicole’s too out of it to even notice. She continues walking until she sees the familiar bushes surrounding her neighborhood. Some call it the “rich side” of Purgatory. Others call it the “nicer side” of Purgatory. Either way, there’s nothing about Purgatory that’s particularly rich or nice.

Nicole makes it to the front door and walks inside. Her dad is still in the same spot, stuck in time. He doesn’t move in the slightest until Nicole closes the door.

“I’m home,” Nicole says.

“I’m home,” Wynonna had said just a few months ago when she walked into Nicole’s house. It was the same month that both of Nicole’s parents were away at the Big City for a big case.

“I’m home,” Waverly had said a couple of weeks ago when Wynonna and Nicole were sitting in the living room watching _The Golden Girls._

“I’m home,” Nicole’s mother had said the day she got back from the Big City. Her case had finished before her dad’s and Nicole was so glad to have her home.

“How’re the Earps?” William asks as he reaches for his cup of coffee.

Nicole flinches at the question. Usually she couldn’t wait to gush about her two favorite people, but today was different. Today, they pushed her to talk about something she didn’t want to. Today, Wynonna told Waverly everything when Nicole had specifically asked her not to. Today, Waverly’s going on a date with Canada’s biggest douche bag. “They’re fine,” she decides to say.

Her dad just nods before he takes a sip of his coffee. “Made some more,” he says, referring to the coffee. “Figured you’d want a cup when you got back.”

Nicole manages a smile. “Thank you, dad,” she says before she opens the cupboard and reaches for a coffee cup. Her hand stalls, though, when she sees her mom’s favorite coffee mug setting right next to the one Nicole uses. _She took everything else, but she couldn’t take the one damn thing that reminds us most of her?_ She grabs the coffee mug and tosses it into the trash. Her dad doesn’t say anything. She grabs her usual coffee mug and pours some coffee in it. A hint of milk and two sugars, just like her mom takes it.

“I gotta leave tomorrow,” her dad tells her.

Nicole frowns. “Why?” She asks.

“I have court,” he says. “I can’t reschedule it either. I already tried that. I definitely can’t skip out on it either. My client is relying on me.”

_I’m relying on you,_ Nicole wants to say. “Okay,” is all she says instead.

“You could come with me,” he offers.

Nicole shakes her head. “I need to be here for…” she pauses.

_“Your dad is going to need you,”_ her mother had written.

“It’s okay,” her dad says. “I want you to focus on you, okay? I’m not going to leave you like…she did. You don’t have to take care of me like she said, okay?”

Nicole nods her head. “Okay,” she says before she takes a sip of her coffee.

The two of them sit in silence for a few minutes before Nicole stands up and walks over to the turntable setting on the mantel. The three of them bought it together in the Big City a few years back. Music has always been their thing. If Nicole listens closely enough, she can hear her mom softly singing along to “Don’t Stop Believing.”

_“Don’t stop believing. Hold onto that feeling,”_ her mom had sang a year ago when she and Waverly were baking cookies together while Wynonna and Nicole played basketball outside. When the two of them had come in for a drink break, Nicole’s mom was singing and Waverly was mixing the dough together.

Nicole can also hear “Can’t Help Falling In Love.” Her dad had sang it to her mom during Christmas a couple of years ago, back when Nicole was an eighth grader. It was late and her parents thought that she was asleep, but she was really sitting on the steps watching them dance.

Nicole takes a deep breath in and lets it out before she grabs one of her dad’s favorite vinyl records and puts it on the turntable. It’s Ryan Adams’ Reckless album, the Thirtieth Anniversary Deluxe Edition.

_“I got my first real six string. Bought it at the five and dime,”_ Bryan sings and Nicole thinks she sees her dad smile. _“Played it till my fingers bled.”_

Nicole walks back over to the table just as Bryan Adams sings, _“It was the summer of ’69.”_

_“Me and some guys from school had a band and we tried real hard,”_ Nicole sings along.

Now Nicole’s sure her dad is smiling.

_“Jimmy quit and Jody got married. Should’ve known we’d never get far,”_ Bryan continues to sing.

Nicole can’t help but smile either. Music always gets them in a good mood. They’ve always bonded over music.

_“Oh when I look back now, the summer seemed to last forever,”_ William sings. _“And if I had the choice, yeah, I’d always wanna be there.”_

_“Those were the best days of my life,”_ Nicole and her dad sing at the same time and everything feels right in the world again. Her and Wynonna might never see eye-to-eye and Waverly might spend the rest of her life with Champ Hardy, but at least Nicole will always have her dad. _And music,_ Nicole thinks. _I’ll always have music._

It’s not until hours later when someone knocks on her bedroom door. Her dad had left to go to the grocery store a few minutes ago so there’s no way he’d be back already.

Nicole furrows her eyebrows and gets off her bed. She opens her door and doesn’t say anything when she sees Wynonna standing on the other side.

“Brought your car to you,” Wynonna tells her, offering Nicole the keys.

Nicole grabs them and tosses them onto her desk right next to the picture of Waverly. “Thanks,” she offers.

“Don’t mention it,” Wynonna says, scratching the side of her face. It’s something she does when she’s nervous. “I figured you didn’t actually want me to keep it.”

Nicole shrugs. “You could have,” she says. “I don’t need it.”

“Right,” Wynonna says, looking down at the ground. “Well, I’m gonna go to Shorty’s andmake sure Champ is treating babygirl with the upmost respect.” She turns to walk back towards the steps, but stops herself. “I’m real sorry, you know? For your mom…for Waverly.” She sighs. “Today’s just a shitty day.”

Nicole just nods.

“Okay,” Wynonna says, raising one hand in an effort to wave. “I’ll see you.”

“I’ll see you,” Waverly had said to her on the last day of school.

“I’ll see you,” her mother had said with a kiss on her cheek when she had dropped Nicole off for her first day of sixth grade.

Nicole shuts her door and sinks to the ground. She falls asleep there and doesn’t wake up until she hears her dad shout that Waverly’s here to see her. Nicole groans and stands up, fixing her shirt and opening her bedroom door.

“Hey,” Waverly says.

“Hey,” Nicole says back.

Waverly walks into Nicole’s room. “Wynonna was totally spying on me during my date with Champ,” she tells Nicole.

Nicole shuts her bedroom door, but doesn’t say anything.

“And she was being so obvious about it,” Waverly continues. “She didn’t even have the courtesy to block her face with a menu.”

Nicole just stands there, looking at Waverly.

“Champ was being such a gentleman,” Waverly says. “He even opened the door for me to get into his truck. I mean, how sweet is that?”

_I always open the door for you,_ Nicole thinks to herself.

“He kissed me goodbye, too,” Waverly says, a blush on her cheeks.

Nicole breaks then. “Did you just come over here to brag about your new boyfriend?” She asks, a fire in her voice.

“Well, no,” Waverly says. “I came here to talk to _you_.”

“Could’a fooled me,” Nicole mutters. “Listen, don’t come in my room talking about that weasel, okay? Keep it to yourself.”

Waverly crosses her arms over her chest. “You’re my friend,” she says slowly. “You’re supposed to let me talk to you about these kind of things.”

Nicole lets out a humorless laugh. “You’re not my friend,” she fires. “You’re just…you’re just Wynonna’s _little sister_.”

“You’re a real asshole, you know that?” Waverly says. “We both know I’m so much more than that to you.”

Nicole shrugs.

“So that’s it then, huh?” Waverly says. “Your mom leaves and suddenly you don’t want anything to do with me.”

“Screw you,” Nicole says flatly.

Waverly sighs. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I know you’re hurting.” She walks closer to Nicole and reaches for her hands. She wraps them around her waist. She traces the outline of Nicole’s face with her finger. “I don’t like it when you’re hurting.”

Nicole tenses. “I’m fine,” she says.

“You’re not,” Waverly says. “And that’s okay.”

Nicole looks away. “What do you care anyway? Shouldn’t you be sucking face with Champ the Chump?” She asks.

“You come first,” Waverly says and Nicole believes it with her whole heart, despite what her mind is telling her. “You always come first. You and Wynonna.”

Nicole so badly wants to give into Waverly’s comfort, but she holds herself from doing so. “I can take care of myself,” she says.

“Oh, honey,” Waverly says.

“Oh, honey,” her mother had said.

“I know you can,” Waverly continues. “You’ve always been so strong.”

Nicole puffs her chest and she suddenly feels too close to Waverly. “I don’t need pity, Waves,” she says.

“I don’t take pity on you,” Waverly says. “Can’t I just want to comfort my friend?”

Nicole lets out a deep breath. “Friend,” she says softly. “I didn’t mean to say that you were just Wynonna’s little sister. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Waverly assures her. “I know you didn’t mean it.”

Nicole nods.

“I’m going to go and help your dad make dinner,” Waverly tells her. “You think you could go and track down Wynonna? She said she wanted to be alone for awhile and I’m not sure where alone is.”

Nicole lets go of Waverly. “For sure,” she says. Before Waverly walks out of her room, Nicole stops her. “Thank you, Waves. For being here…for all of it.”

Waverly smiles and Nicole’s world feels complete again. Maybe she could handle her mom not being here. “I’d do anything for you, Nicole Haught,” she says before disappearing into the hallway.

Nicole grabs her keys and heads outside to her car. When she gets in it, Usher is singing at the top of his lungs and Nicole turns it almost all of the way down as she drives towards Wynonna. When Nicole pulls up to the lake, she gets out of her car and walks down the secret trail that she and Wynonna had discovered when they were in fifth grade. They’ve never told anyone about it, not even Waverly.

“Spit shake,” Wynonna had said.

“Gross, no,” Nicole had said.

“You have to,” Wynonna had told her. “It’s the only way I know that you’ll never tell anyone about this spot.”

“Fine,” Nicole had given in before she spit on her hand and reached out for Wynonna’s hand.

When Nicole gets to the end of the trail, she sees Wynonna sitting on a log.

“Room for two in here?” Nicole asks.

Wynonna turns and nods. “Always,” she says.

Nicole sits down next to her on the log. “Waverly’s dating Champ,” she says.

“I know,” Wynonna says. “How do you feel about that?”

Nicole shrugs. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about it.”

Wynonna nods. “Neither do I.”

“My mom left,” Nicole says after a few beats of silence.

“She did,” Wynonna says. “How do you feel about that?”

Nicole sighs. “I’m not sure yet,” she admits.

Wynonna scratches the side of her face. “Are we okay?” She asks.

Nicole nods, bumping Wynonna’s shoulder with her own. “Of course,” she says. “We’re always gonna be okay. No matter what.”

Wynonna rests her head on Nicole’s shoulder.

Nicole blows out a breath. “I just feel so lost right now,” she tells Wynonna.

“It’s okay to feel lost,” Wynonna says, lifting her head up. The wind blows, making her hair fall on her face.

Nicole’d be lying if she said that she didn’t think Wynonna was attractive. Both of the Earp girls were, but it was their hearts of gold that had Nicole wrapped around their fingers.

“You don’t always have to have everything figured out,” Wynonna continues.

“I just never thought she’d leave, you know?” Nicole says. “I mean, she’s my mom. She’s supposed to love me, not leave me.”

“She still loves you,” Wynonna tells Nicole. “Just because she left doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you.”

“Doesn’t it?” Nicole asks.

Wynonna shakes her head. “Maybe she just needs to get away for a little while. Life gets stressful,” she says.

“She’s my _mother_,” Nicole says. “So you’re saying that if I skipped town without so much as a goodbye, you’d be perfectly okay with that?”

“Of course I wouldn’t be okay with it,” Wynonna says. “I’d be devastated, but I’d understand.”

Nicole pushes her hair out of her face. “So you’re just expecting me to understand why my own mother left me?”

“I’m not saying that you’re going to understand right now,” Wynonna says. “Hell, you might not even understand a year from now. But one day, when you least expect it, you’ll understand and you’ll learn to accept it.”

Nicole picks at a scab on her arm.

“Look, take it from someone who’s been there and done that,” Wynonna says. “My mama got addicted to pills and left. That was back in third grade and I’m just learning to understand why she left.”

“You are?” Nicole asks.

Wynonna nods. “Daddy was never around,” she says. “And mama was never happy. I think she left to give Waverly and I a chance, you know? A chance to be better, learn from her mistakes, and become something of ourselves.”

Nicole looks at Wynonna.

Wynonna tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “And when Uncle Curtis and Aunt Gus took us in, I was cold and didn’t want anything to do with them. I just wanted mama. But Curtis and Gus are the ones who’ve always been there,” she tells Nicole. “And you,” she adds. “You guys are my family. And, yeah, I’m still not certain why mama left, but there’s nothing I can do about her leaving. She needed to find herself and Waves and I are doing just fine without her.”

Nicole offers Wynonna a small smile. “I miss him,” she says, her face falling. “Curtis, I mean.”

“Me, too,” Wynonna admits.

Nicole clenches her jaw in order to stop her eyes from watering. “Does it ever get any easier with your mama here?” She asks.

Wynonna doesn’t say anything for a moment. “It’s never been easy,” she says. “But I’ve learned to manage and so has Waverly. Like I said, we’re doing just fine without her.”

Nicole nods.

“You’ll do just fine without your mom, too,” Wynonna tells Nicole, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Nicole’s temple. “We’re gonna be alright, you and me. As long as we have each other, we’ll be just fine.”

Nicole smiles.

“And Waverly,” Wynonna adds.

“And Waverly,” Nicole repeats.

_It’s always going to be you, me, and Waverly, no matter what._


End file.
